Category Archives: Failed App Marketing Strategies

ThumbSnail Studios is Dying

ThumbSnail is Dying

Unable to eat, ThumbSnail Studios is shutting down.

 

ThumbSnail Studios has yet to achieve its goal of making enough money to cover Apple’s developer fees plus a $3.49 frozen pizza.  It’s looking increasingly likely that this will never come to fruition.  Thus, ThumbSnail Studios is shutting down.  My games will be available until November 4th and then no more.

Furthermore, due to lack of interest, I will no longer be doing the weekly “Good Games Buried Deep” reviews.  It’s been fun finding and playing these games, but all future gems will remain lost in the ever-growing heap.  Maybe someone else can go digging for shinies.

Thanks to the few who have played my games and supported me.  I have one more game in the pipeline, but it’s more of a joke poking fun at the world of apps than something serious.  I’m hoping to have it ready for release by next month.

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Filed under Failed App Marketing Strategies, Simple Sevens, Super Hearts, Super Sevens

The Top Ten Best Card Game Apps of 2016

Having already established that the collective genius of the AIs in Super Sevens constructed a time machine to travel to the past, it’s no surprise that they also scouted the future in order to continue their chart dominance.  There will be a lot of hopeful entries in 2016, but only a few will emerge victorious.  Here are the Top Ten Best Card Games Apps for iOS and Android… in 2016:

#10:

Simple Sevens for Android

Download Simple Sevens for Android on the Amazon Appstore
When asked why Simple Sevens for Android was taken down by its iOS brother in a heated matchup, S.S. Android replied, “I just couldn’t handle that new Super Button.  Too much, too cool.  He deserved to beat me.  There’s no shame in second place.  What?  Tenth?  Are you sure?”

 

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#9:

Simple Sevens for iOS

Download Simple Sevens for free on the App Store
Simple Sevens for iOS refused to answer any questions.  He spent the whole interview pushing his Super Button while talking smack about his Android brother.  Though when prodded about only coming in 9th, he admitted his Super Button just couldn’t compare to all the features of Super Sevens.

 

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#8 through 6:

Super Sevens for Android

Download Super Sevens for Android on the Amazon Appstore
When asked why he was able to occupy multiple slots on the top ten list, Super Sevens for Android answered, “I’m the only version with achievements.  They’re so addicting that I get downloaded multiple times.  Yes, all by the same person.  Yes, that person is my mother.  This interview is over!”

 

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And now for the top 5 best card games apps of 2016!

#5 through 1:

Super Sevens for iOS

Download Super Sevens on the App Store
When it was not-so-subtly implied that Super Sevens for iOS was occupying a whole lot of spots on the charts due to some recent weight gain, Super Sevens for iOS responded, “Hey, man, I recently shrunk my file size.  And it’s not like I ever see you at the gym, Phil.”

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Filed under Failed App Marketing Strategies, New App Marketing Strategies, Simple Sevens, Super Sevens

Best Card Game Apps of 2013, Hidden Gems

You have to dig pretty deep to find some of the best games.  Just how hidden were these gems back in 2013?  They were so hidden they didn’t even exist!  But if they didn’t exist back in 2013, how did they make it onto a “Top Card Games for 2013” list?  The only possible explanation is that the AI in the game is so smart that it created a time machine to go back in time and promote itself!  Wow!  Amazing!

Super Sevens
Download Super Sevens for Android on the Amazon Appstore
Maybe “The Merciless” AI should change its name to “The Master of Space and Time”?  If you couldn’t beat it in 2013, just think how much smarter it is in 2015!

 

 

 


Simple Sevens

Download Simple Sevens for free on the App Store
Back in 2013, Simple Sevens recently just added a new “Super Button” the other day.  (Uh… this time warp stuff is getting very confusing…)  Anyways, try out the new button to sample some of the cool features of Super Sevens!

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Filed under Failed App Marketing Strategies, New App Marketing Strategies, Simple Sevens, Super Sevens

How To Make A Profitable First App

More than likely your first app is not going to be profitable.  Actually, more than likely all of your apps are not going to be profitable.  The developer fees alone make this goal unobtainable.  So what’s a rookie developer gotta do?

First of all, you must spend absolutely nothing during the development stage.  Anything you spend here will not be recovered.  This means all the tools you work with need to be free.  This mean you need to do everything by yourself (or know people willing to work for free).  This means you already need to own a computer (or have excellent ninja skills to stealthily hide in your local public library beyond closing hours for late-night coding sessions).

Best Spots to Hide in Public Library

I hope you can wall crawl…

 Now that you’ve wisely concluded to develop your first game at no (monetary) cost to yourself, you must decide which app store you’re going to publish your app to.  This is absolutely critical.  This choice alone will likely determine whether or not your game is profitable.  Here are your best three options:

#3.  The Apple App Store

Signing up for a developer account here will set you back a hundred dollars as well as whatever tax they charge.  So let’s just say the total cost to you is:  $110.  On top of that, Apple will take 30% of whatever you sell.  To put this into perspective, if you are selling your app for $0.99, you are going to need to sell 160 copies of your game just to break even.  Or if you sell your game for $1.99, you’ll need to sell 80 copies of your game.  That’s doable, right?  Hahahahahaha!  Sorry, I used to think like you.  But unless you have a hundred friends and an incredibly large family, this isn’t going to happen.

#2.  The Google Play Store

Signing up for a developer account here will set you back twenty-five dollars as well as (so I assume; I haven’t actually done this) whatever tax they charge.  So let’s just say the total cost to you is:  $27.50.  On top of that, Google will take 30% of whatever you sell.  To put this into perspective, if you are selling your app for $0.99, you are going to need to sell 40 copies of your game just to break even.  Or if you sell your game for $1.99, you’ll need to sell 20 copies of your game.  That’s much more doable, right?  Hahahahahaha!  Sorry, I used to think like you.  But unless you have a hundred friends and an incredibly large family, this isn’t going to happen.

#1.  The Amazon Appstore

Signing up for a developer account here will set you back… nothing!  No taxes, no fees, no cost!  Woo hoo!  Now, keep in mind that Amazon will still take 30% of whatever you sell.  But to put this into perspective, if you are selling your app for $0.99, you need to sell only one copy of your game to come away with a profit of $0.69!!!  Finally, something that’s doable!

Thus, the only way to make a profitable first app is to:
-spend no money on its development
-release it on the Amazon Appstore
-find one person in the universe to buy it

Best of luck!

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Filed under Develop an App for Free, Failed App Marketing Strategies, Game Development, New App Marketing Strategies

Failed App Marketing Strategy #1: Praying for a Spot on the Top Charts

Making money in the world of apps is truly an all-or-nothing affair.  If your app makes it big, you can actually afford to eat.  However, if your app is barely noticed, you won’t make enough to cover Apple’s developer fees… or worse, Google’s developer fees…

Yes, the situation is that dire.  If you release an app on your own, you should not expect to make even twenty-five dollars.  That is simply too lofty a goal.

So what separates “bags of money falling from the sky” from “gonna have to use Jack-in-the-Box napkins as toilet paper again…”?  It’s simple.  Those in the first group made it onto some kind of “Top Apps” list or “Popular Games” chart.  Those in the second group only hoped they’d make it onto one of those lists.

And I can personally confirm that the latter approach is not a successful marketing strategy.  Hoping and wishing does not make it so.  Now, to be fair, I haven’t literally dropped to my knees and offered up any supplications (Huh, maybe that’s what successful app developers do…), so that may be one course of action you’d like to try.  Let me know if it works.

Unfortunately, all this means that you must be resigned to the fact that you will not be topping any charts.  Heck, you’re not even going to crack any list.  But there’s one thing you can do:

New App Marketing Strategy #1:

Why try to make it onto some “Best App of All-Time” list when you can make your own?!

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Filed under Failed App Marketing Strategies, Game Development